Unlikely Journey

I haven’t written in more than a month, but watching the opening ceremony of the Paris Paralympics inspired me to hit the keyboard again. I intentionally took a break from writing and my practice group because I realized I was spreading myself too thin. I was grappling with severe anxiety and depression, and now I see that it was largely due to overextending myself.

Over the past four weeks, I had the chance to watch the Olympic Games and the Democratic National Convention, both of which deeply inspired me. I’ve been hesitant to talk about politics, but I’ll say this: I gave up my Japanese passport to vote for Al Gore in 2000, and I’m proud to be a Democrat today.

In essence, what I’ve done in the last month is similar to what Simone Biles, the gold medal gymnast, did after the Tokyo Olympics three years ago. As someone put it, she allowed herself to fall apart in order to rebuild. I, too, had to reach a breaking point where I could barely function, experiencing profound emotional breakdowns, to give myself the time and space to gradually find my way back. I had to be brutally honest with myself about what parts of my life were depleting me and what parts were nourishing. I’m still on this journey, but I’m happy to say I’m feeling more grounded, clearer about my path, and more at ease today.

Back in 1996, I worked at the Atlanta Olympics as a field producer for one of the Japanese TV networks. Although I was disillusioned by the celebrity-chasing nature of the coverage, I teamed up with a like-minded reporter to focus on the environmental impact of the Games. That experience sparked my interest in environmental work. I also persuaded the network to cover the Paralympics that followed. At the time, the Paralympics received little attention from mainstream media. The 15-minute newsmagazine piece I produced was the only coverage in Japan in 1996, and I couldn’t find much on American outlets either. But I’m happy to say that by the time the Nagano Paralympics rolled around, all the networks followed suit, broadcasting it during prime time. And that was the catalyst for making my own documentary film, Pushin’ Forward.

As I continue exploring my healing journey and reflect on the meandering paths I’ve traveled, I’m inspired by women who have taken bold steps to forge their authentic paths. As Kamala Harris said in her DNC speech, I’m charting a new course on my “unlikely journey.” There’s more to come…