Riding the Waves

Five weeks after Nicola, my beloved kitty, passed, I was struck by grief all over again. Though it wasn’t debilitating, it brought profound sadness. It was all the routines I had with her: morning meditation; having her in the room where I can reach to pet her while working; and her purring and kneading on my tummy as we went to sleep.

Sure I can get a new kitty or two. I’m sure I will fall in love with new ones again. But I want to honor the bond I had with Nicola and only Nicola. She was always a high-maintenance kitty unlike her easy going brother, Riley. Nicola never liked to use the litter box, most specifically she would not step on the litter. She was demanding of my love and attention — oh yes, particularly when I was on a phone with someone. She had all those quirks that I had to learn to accommodate over the years. A girlfriend once told me the ones that requires more attention actually capture your heart deeper. She was right. Nicola was such a princess, and I loved her so much.

It’s not to say I loved the other kitties I’ve had any less. It’s just that the bond that developed between me and each one are different in its flavors and textures. I loved them all in different ways.

As we have put away and gave away some of the items that belonged to Nicola, our home is now becoming a pet-less household for now. In time we will be ready to welcome another fur baby or two. For now, I’m just riding the waves of sadness as they come. Fortunately, they have been quite ridable. And I’m still surprisingly O.K.

#YouCanSitWithMe