Remembrances
I stopped covering my gray hair about a year ago rather accidentally. During the pandemic, I was doing the coloring by myself with natural tints until one day it didn’t take. When I asked my hair stylist if she would color at my following appointment for a cut, she told me to my surprise “I think you should grow it out. I think it would look great on you” I’m gullible, all right. I went with the idea. My grays are mostly around my face, especially, on the sides. After all I’m in my 60s, so why not go au natural? It’s part of getting old.
Oh yes, I’ve been hearing my husband complaining about getting old. In fact, I hear that from many others. I guess we all want to stay young and vibrant, and we don’t like the idea of aging. But let’s face it. Everybody is getting older from the moment we’re born. We’re on a one-way journey from birth to death. In Buddhist sutta, the teaching reminds us, “I am of nature to grow old; I am of nature to become ill; and I am of nature to die.” When we resist this natural phenomenon, we suffer. After growing up in an extremely sheltered life of privilege, Buddha realized that old age, sickness and death were inevitable in life, which led him on the path to enlightenment.
When my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer in his early 70s, I, too, got on the path to face my parents aging, his cancer and his impending death. Now I am indeed getting older, and I have been actually sick with COVID-like symptoms in the last few days although I tested negative twice. And yesterday was the 22nd anniversary of my father’s passing, which gave me a chance to reflect on death and life after death. Actually, the sutta has a couple more “remembrances” that all that is dear to my heart will eventually go away, and that whatever happens in my life is based on my actions. All this is just another reminder to live my life mindfully. It sounds simple, and it takes practice.