One Step Forward
Monday afternoon, the call finally came. My visa to enter Japan was issued and ready to be picked up. At least the first hurdle is now cleared. Phew. I could have picked up and flown by Wednesday, but I needed a little time to get things in order before I go.
As I’ll be staying at my mother’s apartment where nobody occupied for the last 8 months, I made an arrangement to get it cleaned and rented a set of futons to sleep on. [√] I have all the complex information I need to travel internationally during this very restricted time including the requirement to install a few different apps on my iPhone so they (yes, the Japanese authorities) can track me while I’m there. [√]
On this end, I needed to make sure all my businesses are taken care of. Communicating with clients and colleagues about my travel and getting my resources all lined up while I’m gone. Somehow along the way in my attempt to get things done, I inadvertently changed the settings for my email address for reasons I don’t need to explain here. Since Wednesday morning I have not been able to receive or send email from my usual email address, hence the delay in sending this out. I had to spend a couple of hours with tech support to fix it. I thought I was getting ahead of my process yet a minor (not!) set back. Oh well.
Amidst all this, I’m aware of the underlining anxiety and trepidation I’m feeling that I can only access when I pause long enough. I have not felt the grief about losing my mom, either, until the trip became a reality this week. In a few days, I will be in her apartment — alone — going through her things. I don’t even know when or if I will get to see her between her condition and visitation limit at the hospital. There will be a lot to sort through, reconcile, and let go. Just thinking about what’s ahead brings tears. At the same time, I know I can walk through this. I feel so supported by friends and communities. I will be able to stay connected so I can keep reminding myself I’m not alone and keep taking one step at a time. This is just a part of life journey, and I strive to find freedom in the process of living.
#YouCanSitWithUs