Ohigan

I write this on Autumn Equinox, when our days would start getting shorter than the night. It is also a time called, “Ohigan （literally meaning “the other side”）” in Japan, a few days before and after the equinox when people would visit ancestors’ graves to make offerings. The offerings are usually flowers and/or some Japanese sweets or something the particular ancestors loved to eat. Being away from my homeland for so long, I had lost touch with many of the traditions and customs I grew up with, and Ohigan is one of them.

As I meet this Ohigan this year, it is particularly poignant because it will be a year next Thursday since my mother passed away. It was a long journey for her to finally cross over to the other side. Having had to navigate the complications of being able to visit her in the hospital and cleaning out her apartment by myself in a short period also felt like a long journey for me. And my mother’s ashes have not been returned from the medical research group where she donated her body. It may take another year based on what they said when they picked her up, which extends the last leg of her journey until she settles in a graves site.

Since I’m not able to go visit my mom let alone my other family members at their grave site, I went to the field to pick some wild flowers to make a bouquet as my offering. Both my grandparents and my father, whose ashes are buried in the family grave, would certainly appreciate the bouquet of flowers from the field. After all they are the ones who taught me the love of nature and gave me the sensitivities of for changing seasons.

Just as the equinox signifies, Ohigan reminds us of exactly that, the changing seasons and cycles. After the unbearable heat waves a couple of weeks ago, it cooled down significantly enough to kick off the heater in the morning. As I go outside, it definitely smells like autumn letting me know the cold weather is around the corner. Again, I’m reminded it is time for reflection.

Reflecting on Mom’s life, Dad’s, and grandparents’ and how they have influenced my life has been an intrigue lately. They all went through very challenging times between the wars, post-war devastation, and rapid industrialization of the country. While I cherish the gift from them, what they had felt and thought are likely ingrained in me and may not be all necessarily helpful to navigate the life in 21st Century. As we go to the Autumn Equinox ceremony tonight, I am hoping to let go of what doesn’t serve me and pray for guidance to walk through the remainder of my life with dignity.