Leaning into the Unknown

We received a “notice of eviction” from our landlord last week. We have been renting this condo unit in West L.A. for 8 years, and now we have to move out by the end of April. Sometimes things come up unexpectedly that can change everything. At first my reaction to my landlord handing me the documents very apologetically was “Wow, this is so interesting! Don’t feel bad! We’ll be fine!” I thought this is a good chance for us to move our base to our mountain house as I have been fantasizing for quite some time. I immediately started my attempt to “figure out” what that might look like.

It’s been several days and initial excitement for a possibility of the mountain life has morphed into a mixture of wonderment, panic and stress. As I consider the logistics of the move and the post-move lifestyle, I began to see this isn’t going to be an easy transition no matter how it’s going to unfold.

I have a fairly robust life in the city with both personal and professional communities I’m actively involved in. How will I be able to maintain that, or will I cut back on such involvements to make it manageable? Seeing how difficult it may be to do that, I may come to a conclusion that we just have to find a new place to rent in the city. But rent on the Westside? Of course, as a realtor, I know what the rental market is like on the Westside. I don’t know if I would be willing to spend $4,000 or more a month to live in a comparable space to this.

Mindfulness practice really saves my sanity as I watch my mind in full throttle with “thinking” about this move. I’ve had some moments where I felt taken over by anxiety and even depression in the last couple of days, and I just have to remind myself to take one moment at a time — breathing in and breathing out. As of now I really don’t know how things will unfold, but I am leaning into the “unknown” to watch, be present to what is and stay curious. All I know is that things will work out however it’s going to.

#YouCanSitWithUs