Connecting the Dots

Jacarandas are blooming everywhere in the city now. It’s one of my very favorite. Driving through the city and seeing the purple puffs always make me smile. When I was going through my mom’s diary, I found a short entry where she said, “I want to go see the jacaranda.” This was probably after she ended up canceling the very last trip she was scheduled to come to LA. As she had been to California to visit often in the spring to early summer when Jacarandas bloom, especially twice for my graduations — once from El Camino College and another time from UCLA, she, too loved those purple trees that lined the streets.

Having spent the three plus weeks in my mom’s apartment and gone through the whole personal/family belongings, I see how much my family appreciated the natural cycles of life. Changing seasons in Japan are often integrated and expressed in how we adorn our life — with flowers or vegetations of the seasons. I found books, stationeries, fabrics, potteries, and all small things that are so in tuned with the natural world.

Now I’ve been back for more than 2 weeks, and I’ve been digesting and processing all that I dealt with and discovered. Naturally, there were many things that really comfort me deep in my heart about my family such as what they had taught me about the nature by example and many dark and painful shadows. All of this is part of me, and what I carry with me subconsciously. With a time and distance, I’m starting to connects some dots about some of the things that impacted my life or baffled me in some ways. I don’t expect to know everything, but I feel like there was a tremendous gift in what mom had left me to see. For that I’m profoundly grateful.