Change of Seasons

As I sit at my desk and look out my windows, I notice the aspen trees in front of my house are starting to change colors. Soon the leaves will be golden still glistening in the sun and by the time the holiday season arrives, they will shed the leaves. Mornings are pretty chilly now — down to 50s. Thus, the changes are happening every day all around.

In this whirlwind of our life in 2020, I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling rather ungrounded. I’m fortunate that I get to set my feet on dirt and walk amongst the trees practically every day to help feeling more grounded. Even though “control” is an illusion anyway, there seem to be so many elements in my life I don’t have control over that can cause so much anxiety if I let them. The only thing I have control over is my own mind. Noticing how everything is changing moment by moment — demonstrated most clearly by the seasons, I can either try to hold on to some ideas and perspectives, or simply let go and go with the flow.

As I do my best to float myself on the flow of this life, I can choose to appreciate what is today no matter how turbulent the current may feel. My kitty, Nicola, is still with me as of today, and I am so grateful for each moment I get to be with her. Her condition changes day by day, and I know much sooner than later, I will be letting her go — over the rainbow bridge to join her brother, Riley. My mom is settled in the rehab facility for now. It comforts me to know that she’s being cared for. She tells me the meals are tasty there and she has a nice view from her room, both of which give me great solace. Yet each time I get to talk to her, I notice her dementia is advancing. I still don’t know when I will travel there, but I’m praying she will still know me when I finally get to see her there.

As they say, the only thing absolutely certain is that everything changes. I’m glad to be awake to watch all the changes both in my personal life as well as the world at large with as much equanimity as I can muster knowing that I can live through the year 2020.

#YouCanSitWithUs