Call for Reflection

This morning, I attended a “closing circle” for my Community Dharma Leadership (CDL) program with tender heart. The program that was supposed to last for 2 years but was “disbanded” last month due to the effect of the pandemic. Like many businesses and non-profit organizations, Spirit Rock, which was the governing entity of CDL program, ended up losing 70% of revenues and having to furlough 50% of staff. CDL program was inevitably one of the casualties.

The fellows in my cohort, CDL6, received a letter from the teachers a little more than a month ago informing us that the decision was made to “disband” this program. I was extremely disappointed and saddened because I had waited for a few years to apply for this program and was so excited about being accepted. At the same time I was also relieved because just a week or so before I received the letter, I had started to consider dropping out of the program, and now I didn’t have to make that decision. With all the uncertainty and chaos happening in the world, I was feeling overwhelmed. There was homework to do and financial commitment I wasn’t sure I could maintain. I even questioned my desire to teach. I have a deep desire to study and practice Dharma, but I just didn’t have the resources in all ways to dedicate to Dharma and the program at the depth I longed for. It turns out many of the participants of the program including the teachers themselves were experiencing similar strife. Apparently, the same is felt in other spiritual communities, which calls for some deep reflection for many people in many realms of our life.

The movement for Black Lives Matter also added a whole new layer for the pain we were already experiencing. My community at InsightLA, too, is experiencing some needs to deeply reflect in order to move forward as a healthy Dharma community. For now, I am called to do a lot of reflection on what motivates me to practice and to be a teacher, and what it means to be an Asian immigrant in this country. I can only continue to practice as I always have for the last 20 plus years trusting the right path is being revealed on a day to day basis.

Meanwhile, I’m so grateful for the people who attend my sitting group on Fridays. It really helps to have a community no matter how small or large to have someone practicing with you.

You, too, can sit with us!

#YouCanSitWithUs