Being Still…

I missed writing last week because I was sick. It started a few days earlier after a weekend when I enjoyed the Lilac Festival in our community. I tried to ignore the symptoms the first couple of days and kept working, but by Wednesday I was bed ridden with low-grade fever along with deep hacking coughs and congestion. I thought the bug I caught almost 7 weeks ago that left me with dry coughs was its way out, but apparently I caught something else on top of it. This one was much worse than the first bug and for sure worse than COVID I had last summer.

I guess we weren’t as cautious as we were with COVID, my husband ended up catching it as well. We were both violently coughing over the weekend. Sunday morning when he called Kaiser, his nurse told him to go to the urgent care. While I was waiting for him in the parking lot, I called my doctor for the third time to report my symptoms were actually getting worse. We both ended up with antibiotics, steroids, and inhalers. So today is day 3 of being on meds, and I’m finally able to sit up long enough to be on my computer for a little while.

Being still is not easy for me, who tends to feel good when I’m “getting things done.”. Yet for the last several days, I just laid around and listened to books on audio. These are all the reasons why I need my meditation practice, which I haven’t while I’ve been sick. What I’ve noticed while befriending with this illness, though, is that there’s something inside of me beckoning my attention. I can’t quite put a finger on it, but the calling is getting louder. Perhaps it’s time for another retreat. Some kind of time and space for introspection are needed.

For now, I’m focusing on getting better.