Another Anniversary

October 13 is another anniversary. It’s been two years since my last kitty, Nicola, made her transition. The memory of her last days are still vivid in my mind. Indeed, it is still quite poignant memory that I’m still holding close to my heart. Now that I have two new rambunctious kitties that bring immense joy, the heartbreak is much eased, but months, weeks and days up to that day were such a heart wrenching journey for me. Again, I’m so grateful that I got to be with her at home as much as I did thanks to the pandemic.

Many other friends of mine lost their pets recently including another friend who just put her kitty down this week. Even though we all know our beloved furry friends have shorter life-span and we’re likely to experience their losses, it is always so heartbreaking. I actually didn’t know how I would survive losing my kitty, but I did.

In fact, it’s not just losing the pets, but losing the human beloveds was something I dreaded so much. Having lived more than 60 decades, I’ve had a fair share of losses (except losing 6 people within 6 months period last year felt a bit out of ordinary.) The idea of losing my mom and Nicola was actually dooming over me for a few years. My heart was heavy with the prospect for a long time.

Yet, I found out that I was actually okay after losing my kitty, a bunch of good friends, and my mom in such a short time. Through my meditation and Dharma, I was able to feel the sorrows deeply and at the same time acknowledge the joy of living that were present in my life. It is in gratitude that I get to embrace the impermanence: coming and going of everything including the beloved beings in my life. And so it goes…